As my husband, Aaron, shared in his “Mother’s Day” sermon with tremendous compassion and gentleness, I lost “The Best Mom in the World”, Julie, on November 27, 2024, the day before Thanksgiving, to a “cancer of unknown origin”. I hold back tears even as I write this out… 

Listening to worship music was my solace during the times I flew back home to St. Louis, Missouri, to be with my mom while she was in the ICU and eventually moved to hospice care in the hospital. This particular song came on KLove and it became my anthem: 

“Still waters run through any valley I could find. I’m laying fear down here at Heaven’s riverside. Your word has been true in every season of my life. I believe, yes, I believe still waters run through any valley I could find” Still Waters (Psalm 23) performed by Leanna Crawford. 

I repeated the chorus “your word has been true in every season of my life” over and over in my head and my heart until my soul believed it. I was experiencing a paradox of rejoicing in the truth that in death as Paul declares in Philippians 1:21, “ For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain,” that my mom was gaining forever life because of her personal relationship in Jesus Christ and yet I wrestled with Philippians 1:22-23, “If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two…” – my flesh and my faith battled inside of me as I faced the reality that I would not have my mom with me on this side of heaven. 

What’s your immediate response when you are struck with tragedy: “fight” or “flight”? I chose to “fight”, a spiritual battle. I could have easily allowed the enemy to speak lies in my life that God was no longer good because my mom is dying of cancer. Instead I fought to speak truth to myself, the truth of God’s word which is life in Jesus guarantees and promises eternal hope. Will I still be struck with sudden sadness and moments of grief? Absolutely. But I rest assured daily that God’s word has been and continues to be true in every season of my life and I believe, yes, I believe. 

In His Hands,

Angel Kruse